is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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