just come out here and I will go home with you...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
