Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I currently don't understand fingers.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
