Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
