you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
