How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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