I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
