apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
