Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
