the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
