Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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