she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The feeling are messing with the penis
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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