No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
