She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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