The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
