Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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