Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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