just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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