just tell him i said nine months
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
