Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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