There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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