due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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