no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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