You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
