dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
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