she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
