dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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