Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
