You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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