I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
high people should be assigned attendants
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
