are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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