See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
