I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
