We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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