You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
