WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
