sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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