does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
