I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
