you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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