if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Little spoons don't ask big questions
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
