its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
