That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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