I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
