Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
