I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
