dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Still dying that you shit outside
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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