I am in a vortex of obligation.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Randomize
