you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
