Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
