so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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