That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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